yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
We talked him into tasing himself.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Randomize
