i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
