Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
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