never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Randomize
