You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
