Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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