Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Did I show you my penis last night?
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
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