the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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