So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
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