dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
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all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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