my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
