ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
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I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
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Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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