She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
not ubering you a puppy
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
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