I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Randomize
