I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
