I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Randomize
