I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
