I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
I don't usually arrange sex via text message
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
My ass is underappreciated
Randomize
