1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
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