Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Randomize
