I cannot find my penis.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
