I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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