You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Randomize