Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
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Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
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So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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