shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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