We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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