why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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