i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
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