i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
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