Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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