Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
