Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
