Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Randomize
