Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Randomize
