If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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