Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
