first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
please come you make the beer taste better
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
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