hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
