do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Randomize
