id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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