he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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