My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Randomize
