Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Randomize
