Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
