i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
