Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize
