I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Randomize
