Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
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