brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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