Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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