Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I am one with the molecules
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
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