she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
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Im just a social blackout drinker.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
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Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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