Im at strip club and am horny
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
what the fuck happened to the tacos
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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