You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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