i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
