My friends, they love my intelligence
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
