Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Randomize
