its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
