He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize