last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
