i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Randomize
