you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize