Plan B is the new Plan A
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Randomize