I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
We are two peas in an std pod
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
