We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
