Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Randomize
